The Sassy Scientist has been a very good boy, slaving away at his fume cupboard and diligently hammering his keyboard. He therefore feels justified pinning his letter to Santa on the department noticeboard, putting on his favourite Christmas jumper, and hoping for more than a piece of anthracite in his stocking.
What would the Sassy Scientist like for Christmas?
Dear Father Christmas,
I, the Sassy Scientist have been so busy being a good little researcher that I have had no time to find my true love. And even if I did, two turtle doves and three French hens really wouldn’t help me make full professor by 35. I have therefore written my own preferred version, and persuaded a drunk colleague to make me a demo.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, the EGU sent to me:
Twelve transform faults,
Eleven plumes arising,
Ten codes a-running,
Nine PIs dancing,
Eight Earth-like planets,
Seven seismic cycles,
Five seg faults,
Four published papers,
Three island arcs,
Two ice ages,
And a partridge in a pear tree.
Wishing you a Merry Christmas, a happy, healthy and productive New Year, and courage and strength to all those stuck a long way from family and friends!
The Sassy Scientist
PS: This post was written in the spirit of finding new covid-secure ways for ritual festive humiliation, since we are deprived of our department parties.