The Sassy Scientist – To Beer Or Not To Beer?

The Sassy Scientist – To Beer Or Not To Beer?

Theeerre ish noffink quite so dangerereroush as ashkink a seeeriouss question of scieeence at 18h30 on a Friday. Rudi inshtead ashks the not-at-all, definitely-not, who-me, ashking-for-a-friend queshtion:

Can I get drunk at Friday Beers?

Dear Rudi,

Your question has more answers than asking a conference of geodynamicists what’s the best wine? With movement and beer restrictions in place, the question is currently rather academic, but as with many academic problems, still worth considering. If we ever get released, the smell of any alcohol that doesn’t come in gel format may be a welcome relief and a signal for the return to normality. Although lockdown has brought one small alcoholic advantage: numerous French geodynamicists have been saved from having to pretend to enjoy Beaujolais Nouveau this year. It’s just a shame about those other great drinking festivals cultural highlights, Oktoberfest and AGU.

Like all academic questions, you question simply leads to more questions. The questions I pose to you in response to your question are these. Firstly, upon questioning yourself seriously, is your drunkenness likely to lead to questionable behaviour, of the sort that could leave your employment in question? Then, leading on from the question of continuing employability, you should question who will witness the behaviour in question and whether they might ever be in a position to raise questions about the question of your suitability for future employment. If you are content with the answer to both these questions, then the answer is that getting drunk at Friday beer is unlikely to do you much harm, although your liver might disagree and your Saturday morning gym session may not look so appealing. These crucial points having been dealt with, there remain the three golden rules of Friday beer. They have the magic property that if you’re sober enough to stick to them, you’re probably sober enough not to worry about those crucial questions.

  1. Always pay for your beer.
  2. Friday beer ends when the organisers say it ends. Who knows, they might have lives outside work!
  3. No vomiting anywhere in the building.

So, all in all, I think that was easily resolved. Now back to the question of why anyone ever drinks Beaujolais Nouveau.

Yours truly,

The Sassy Scientist

PS: This post was written in jest by a scientist who has definitely been drunk at Friday beer. But in seriousness, if you’re often drunk at Friday beer or are finding that under lockdown Friday beer has turned into Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday beer too, there’s no shame in taking a look at this website.

Avatar photo
I am currently employed at a first tier research institute where I am continuously working with the greatest minds to further our understanding of the solid Earth system. Whether it is mantle or lithosphere structure and dynamics, solid Earth rheology parameters, earthquake processes, integrating observations with model predictions or inversions: you have read a paper of mine. Even if you are working on a topic I haven’t mentioned here, I still know everything about it. Do you have any problems in your research career? I have already experienced them. Do you struggle with your work-life balance? Been there, done that. Nowadays, I have only one hobby: helping you out by answering the most poignant questions in geodynamics, research and life. I am waiting for you right here. Get inspired.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>