Theeerre ish noffink quite so dangerereroush as ashkink a seeeriouss question of scieeence at 18h30 on a Friday. Rudi inshtead ashks the not-at-all, definitely-not, who-me, ashking-for-a-friend queshtion:
Can I get drunk at Friday Beers?
Dear Rudi,
Your question has more answers than asking a conference of geodynamicists what’s the best wine? With movement and beer restrictions in place, the question is currently rather academic, but as with many academic problems, still worth considering. If we ever get released, the smell of any alcohol that doesn’t come in gel format may be a welcome relief and a signal for the return to normality. Although lockdown has brought one small alcoholic advantage: numerous French geodynamicists have been saved from having to pretend to enjoy Beaujolais Nouveau this year. It’s just a shame about those other great drinking festivals cultural highlights, Oktoberfest and AGU.
Like all academic questions, you question simply leads to more questions. The questions I pose to you in response to your question are these. Firstly, upon questioning yourself seriously, is your drunkenness likely to lead to questionable behaviour, of the sort that could leave your employment in question? Then, leading on from the question of continuing employability, you should question who will witness the behaviour in question and whether they might ever be in a position to raise questions about the question of your suitability for future employment. If you are content with the answer to both these questions, then the answer is that getting drunk at Friday beer is unlikely to do you much harm, although your liver might disagree and your Saturday morning gym session may not look so appealing. These crucial points having been dealt with, there remain the three golden rules of Friday beer. They have the magic property that if you’re sober enough to stick to them, you’re probably sober enough not to worry about those crucial questions.
- Always pay for your beer.
- Friday beer ends when the organisers say it ends. Who knows, they might have lives outside work!
- No vomiting anywhere in the building.
So, all in all, I think that was easily resolved. Now back to the question of why anyone ever drinks Beaujolais Nouveau.
Yours truly,
The Sassy Scientist
PS: This post was written in jest by a scientist who has definitely been drunk at Friday beer. But in seriousness, if you’re often drunk at Friday beer or are finding that under lockdown Friday beer has turned into Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday beer too, there’s no shame in taking a look at this website.
