The Sassy Scientist – The Free Dinner Solution

The Sassy Scientist – The Free Dinner Solution

It may be not be known to the wider lectureship of this column, but every year, around May, the headquarters of EGU-blogs are up for some important (and crucially, self inflicted) bit of house-keeping: the confirmation of the members of the blog team for the incoming editorial year. Those of you with colleagues that are here with me behind the curtains, might know about it from the relentless recruitment attempts that said colleagues seem to subject you every year between January and May. Rose, one of said recruiters, is clearly disappointed at the lacklustre reactions to their recruiting efforts and asks:

How can I convince more people to join the EGU Blog Team?

Dear Rose,

Truly, I am as baffled as you are that people are not jumping at this opportunity to give up some of their time in exchange for the eternal glory that this extra-curricular activity will undoubtedly bring them. I am sincerely at a loss here.

Have you tried to remark the perks of this gig? We are contributing to a solid EGU community, after all. Surely there must be a reward? Like discount to attend the EGU General Assembly, or a wave on one publication per year on the EGU journals? What did you say? “Nope”? Mmhhh….well, that is a shame.

How about the eternal glory part? I for one would think that I should be received as a hero for speaking the uncensored truth on a weekly basis. You-deserve-a-statue kind of reception. What’s that? Nobody even knows my true identity? Come on! It says right below: I am a researcher at a first tier institute. Ah, not enough to identify me? Damn it!

Well, how did you convince me then? You insisted till I caved and you made an empty promise about a free dinner in Vienna? Ah…well, there you have your answer then: food!

Yours truly

The Sassy Scientist

PS: Ok, I made up the free dinner part, but now I want it!

PPS: “Rose” is, for obvious reasons, an alias. “Rose” knows who they are…

PPPS: I want my free dinner, “Rose”!

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I am currently employed at a first tier research institute where I am continuously working with the greatest minds to further our understanding of the solid Earth system. Whether it is mantle or lithosphere structure and dynamics, solid Earth rheology parameters, earthquake processes, integrating observations with model predictions or inversions: you have read a paper of mine. Even if you are working on a topic I haven’t mentioned here, I still know everything about it. Do you have any problems in your research career? I have already experienced them. Do you struggle with your work-life balance? Been there, done that. Nowadays, I have only one hobby: helping you out by answering the most poignant questions in geodynamics, research and life. I am waiting for you right here. Get inspired.


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    Why do I get the impression that the name “Rose” was chosen to hide another flower name? 🤔

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      Do you? Every reference to real persons is *categorically* unintentional.


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