Despite workshops and seminars and conference sessions and Zoom colloquia, of which Geraldine has attended many, one big question remains in geophysics:
What drives plate tectonics?
Dear Geraldine,
Slab pull? Ridge push? Mantle drag? Continental keels? Super plumes? Mantle wind? Expanding Earth? God?
Nope, there is only one explanation that truly fits the data and passes the common sense test: The Cricetinae Model.
Since this matter is now clearly solved. Please direct invitations for keynote presentations and medal awards here.
Yours truly,
The Sassy Scientist.
PS: This blog was written in place of the Sassy Scientist’s seminal lockdown paper. Lockdown has been going a long time, hasn’t it? La-la-la-laaa
I am currently employed at a prestigious research institute (too prestigious for you to know) where I am continuously working with the greatest minds (especially me, myself, and I) to further our understanding of the solid Earth system (even though it is pretty much done: I have demonstrated it all!). Whether it is mantle or lithosphere structure and dynamics, solid Earth rheology parameters, earthquake processes, integrating observations with model predictions or inversions: you have read a paper of mine (and if you haven't, shame on you and get reading!). Even if you are working on a topic I haven’t mentioned here, I still know everything about it. Do you have any problems in your research career? I have already experienced them and have a fix. Do you struggle with your work-life balance? Been there, done that (give me something hard to work on). Nowadays, I have only one hobby: helping
you out by answering the most poignant questions in geodynamics, research and life. I am waiting for you right
here, so get me something to sassy with!
