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Geodynamics

The Sassy Scientist – Science Sweethearts II

The Sassy Scientist – Science Sweethearts II

Every week, The Sassy Scientist answers a question on geodynamics, related topics, academic life, the universe or anything in between with a healthy dose of sarcasm. Do you have a question for The Sassy Scientist? Submit your question here.

Apollo and Artemis ask:


What is your opinion on workplace romances?


Following up on last week’s post, I’ll answer Apollo this time ‘round.

Dear Apollo,

There once was a guy called Apollo
Who worked on some spheres that were hollow
He felt very lonely;
Just thinking “If only”
“I meet someone in the years that will follow”

When you love your plates and the world’s oceans,
And determine their absolute motions
You may end up sad
Wearing mostly plaid
And you’ll end up missing some promotions

If you think that the core’s isotropic
She might seek a new research topic
You’ll have lots of fun
With the very near Sun
Other stars may prove too hypnotic

In love you may call me a novice
But I wouldn’t if you share an office
Things may turn sour
And you’ll have to cower
Well, at least you’ve tasted what love is.

Be careful if she’s still your student
I don’t think that this would be prudent
Such position of power
Means you’ll pay by the hour:
Your career will not have a good end.

Yours truly,

The Sassy Scientist

PS:

I hope you enjoyed every limerick
and now know how to woo a chick
Just give her a rose
Next post will be prose
all this talk about love makes me sick

The Sassy Scientist
I am currently employed at a first tier research institute where I am continuously working with the greatest minds to further our understanding of the solid Earth system. Whether it is mantle or lithosphere structure and dynamics, solid Earth rheology parameters, earthquake processes, integrating observations with model predictions or inversions: you have read a paper of mine. Even if you are working on a topic I haven’t mentioned here, I still know everything about it. Do you have any problems in your research career? I have already experienced them. Do you struggle with your work-life balance? Been there, done that. Nowadays, I have only one hobby: helping you out by answering the most poignant questions in geodynamics, research and life. I am waiting for you right here. Get inspired.

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Dear Sassy scientist,
    I like you and everything, but come on. There ARE Gay and Lesbian scientists. There ARE female supervisors. Could you be a bit less stereotypical next time?
    All the best,
    a fan

    Reply
    • The Sassy Scientist

      Dear “a fan”,
      In the whirlpool of love and affection, my rhymes deserve caring inspection. With much admiration, I’ll mend your frustration, I’m due for some tough self-reflection. Of course you are utterly right. I’ll admit to this without any fright. I’m so very sorry, but you don’t need to worry, because of you I’ve now seen the light. Relations exist in any kind. For us these are mostly of the mind. If you feel alone, still in the friend zone, there is something I’ll help you remind. Supervisors can be one or the other. Historically, they’re not like a mother. So I choose to be, like the patriarchy, unimaginative and cause little pother. For you this was a wrong choice, so now you’ll have to rejoice, in poems in due time, that I still have to rhyme, with me everyone gets their true voice. I don’t disregard any community, and it’s clear I don’t write with impunity. Straight, lesbian or gay, everyone needs a bae, I’ll gladly take on this opportunity. I hope I’ve not lost you forever, I thought I was just very clever. I’ll return here with style, you just wait for a while, giving up I won’t do. Never.
      Yours truly,
      The Sassy Scientist

      Reply
  2. Avatar

    Dear Sassy Scientist,

    I liked your limericks very much!!
    They made me laugh.

    From a big fan,

    Gusgus

    Reply
  3. Avatar

    Dear Sassy Scientist,

    I loved your limericks. Don’t let anybody tell you different!

    Houdoe,
    Aatje

    Reply
  4. Avatar

    Frankly, this is embarrassing and tone-deaf, and shouldn’t have been published by someone (even jokingly) representing authority within a community.

    Reply

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