The Sassy Scientist – Funding the Abyss

The Sassy Scientist – Funding the Abyss

Has the ocean temperature risen again? Are you tired of dressing like an onion to adapt to 15 degrees of change in a day? Here we have a cooling question. Peter asks:

If you had infinite funding, what would you do?

Dear Peter,

If I had infinite funding, you’d find me setting up my new office at the bottom of the Mariana Trench – because if you’re going big, might as well go seven miles deep, right? What kind of a hypothetical question, is this? It’s like challenging the pressure limits of my banana-shaped spine, desperately attempting not to crumble into dust. Yet, instead of defying the laws of physics, I find myself contemplating the pressure of infinite funding suddenly becoming a reality.

Now, I’ve come to terms with the reality that my sassiness might not single-handedly fix the broken academia, but with boundless resources, I’d create well-paid 5-year postdoc positions for the bright minds that deserve more than fleeting opportunities -or maybe completely remove postdoc positions and create job security, I’m getting ahead of myself and attempting to fix the crack(l)ing chair-. But let’s be real, the initial update would be extensive fieldwork and three more oversized screens – because who needs a panoramic view of the Mariana Trench when you can have a panoramic view of data? Priorities, right?

Yours truly,
The Sassy Scientist

P.S. Are you a banana? or the moon? Then why do you have a horrible posture? I mean us all, scientists sitting in front of a computer.
P.P.S. If you don’t get the popular culture reference above, check ketnipz video on posture
P.P.P.S. Wouldn’t it be cool to have an observatory somewhere in between Mariana Trench and Volcano Trench?

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I am currently employed at a first tier research institute where I am continuously working with the greatest minds to further our understanding of the solid Earth system. Whether it is mantle or lithosphere structure and dynamics, solid Earth rheology parameters, earthquake processes, integrating observations with model predictions or inversions: you have read a paper of mine. Even if you are working on a topic I haven’t mentioned here, I still know everything about it. Do you have any problems in your research career? I have already experienced them. Do you struggle with your work-life balance? Been there, done that. Nowadays, I have only one hobby: helping you out by answering the most poignant questions in geodynamics, research and life. I am waiting for you right here. Get inspired.

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